MarySue And GaryStu Do Hogwarts
by HappySmilesVarietyHour
Summary: A new brand of evil has infiltrated Hogwarts, and no one will not be spared any malevolence this time. This evil's name, you ask? Raven Moonchild Alexandria Black.
1. The Arrival

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER ONE: THE ARRIVAL

-- -- -- -- --

Hermione's eyes snapped open the instant that Sleep relinquished her from its nocturnal grip. As the sunshine washed over her still-fatigued body, she could not help but smile slightly at the thought of a brand new day - a _normal_ day.

With a glance at the clock, she confirmed that it was, indeed, time to rise. It was nearing on eight o'clock, and she had always preferred to take her time when it came to eating her breakfast and catching up with the people that she hadn't seen since the last day had ended.

She pulled herself from her bed, and slowly began to dress herself in the traditional school uniform that she had definitely grown used to ever since she started wearing it six and a half years ago. Of course, she had not worn the same one all that time; she had outgrown many of them and had, in fact, just been sized up for a new one at the end of the Christmas holidays. She was expecting it to arrive any day, now. Madame Malkin had promised it within the week, and it was already Wednesday.

A pedestrian, normal Wednesday.

She moved towards the bathroom, and attempted to pull a brush through her bushy, brown hair. She winced in pain as she worked away at it, but kept her thoughts regarding cutting it all off at bay. Instead, she considered how much worse it had been when she was younger, and that her twelve-year-old self would have given anything to have her hair in the state that it was currently in.

She returned to the dormitory that she shared with the other seventh-year Gryffindor girls, and then shivered as a small tingle went down her spine. Was it just her, or was the air a little darker than it had been when she had first awaken?

She sucked in a deep breath, and her eyes grew a little wider. It was thicker, too. Was this just her imagination? It couldn't be. It was too vivid to be a materialization of the mind.

She needed confirmation. She needed to find Harry and Ron, and ask them if they sensed it, too. She ran for the doorway, but as she descended the stairs leading to the Gryffindor common room, she halted in her thoughts. Sensed what, exactly? What was it that she had just become aware of: impending doom?

So much for her humdrum day: her beautiful, unexciting Wednesday. Why did it always seem to be Wednesday when something strange or undesirable happened? She caught herself thinking that she would have been better off just staying in bed and avoiding the entire thing.

She reached the Gryffindor common room at the precise moment that the portrait of the Fat Lady swung haphazardly open, coincidentally exposing the two friends that she sought the company of. As the Fat Lady closed behind them, they bent forward onto their knees and attempted to catch their breath. In their exhaustion, they did not notice that Hermione was with them until she spoke.

"What's going on?" she hurriedly asked, fear flooding through her at the sight of her despondent comrades.

"Can't - explain," Ron gasped. "Need - see - yourself."

"Come on," Harry gestured she and Ron back towards the Fat Lady. "We need - get to - Great Hall."

"Right," Hermione nodded resolutely, and her hand brushed over the pocket of her school cloak, where her wand was kept. Despite their lack of rest, Ron and Harry ran ahead of Hermione as they led her back in the direction that they had come from. As she followed them, her mind raced as to what could possibly be happening within the castle's walls. Surely Voldemort had not come, for there were no echoing screams through the corridors, aligned with the occasional hint towards a deadly spell. Her curiosity piqued as they moved along, for nothing that she thought of seemed plausible, with the stillness that the school boasted.

They sprinted down the staircase, but as Hermione moved to enter the Great Hall, Ron held her back. "No. Don't go in there."

She stared at him in confusion as he invited her to peak around the corner, instead. As she listened, nothing seemed to be wrong. In fact, everything seemed to be normal.

She looked into the Great Hall, and searched for what she was supposed to see. The Professors chatted nonchalantly with one another, as did the students. The longer she gazed, though, the more apparent the tension seemed to her. Something _was_ different today, but she could not see it.

"Where am I supposed to be looking?" she finally asked.

Ron gestured towards the Slytherin table. "Look; next to Malfoy."

Hermione followed his gaze, and gasped as she finally saw what they had wanted to show her. She reeled backward, surprised that she had not noticed it before. How could she possibly miss the one person in the room who was not in uniform: the spot of color within a sea of black?

"Oh, God, no," she moaned as she swayed on the spot, suddenly dizzy. Ron grabbed her by the shoulder, prohibiting her from tilting in his direction. "No, no, no..."

"It's true," Harry solemnly nodded. "We have another one on our hands."


	2. The New Threat To Their Sanity

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER TWO: THE NEW THREAT TO THEIR SANITY

-- -- -- -- --

After laying eyes upon the travesty that would have awaited them in the Great Hall if they were to venture in, Hermione, Harry, and Ron made their way back towards Gryffindor quarters. Hermione's head still spun as she considered the sickeningly perfect appearance of the girl sitting next to Malfoy at the Slytherin table. How could this possibly be happening? They had just managed to be rid of the last one a mere three weeks ago, when she had dramatically thrown herself from the North Tower after Blaise Zabini had refused her his hand in marriage.

And so Hogwarts had been left to recover from its latest misfortune. The lack of _her_ kind was very rare anymore, and any break that they could get was welcomed with open arms. They had grown progressively worse over the years, and their presence hung more persistently upon the castles' walls than the one that preceded them. She hadn't minded them so much when they first began to appear, for they had been a minor detail in the tragedy that she and her two best friends seemed steered towards to by Fate. One would appear, attempt to pull off something with which they would always be remembered for, and then would be gone again. It was always the same thing.

However, none yet had managed to produce a legacy for themselves. The last had been close, but not quite there. The students remembered her name for a few days afterward, but she soon slipped from their conversations as they turned their minds to more important manners. Besides, they had such long, ridiculous names. How could anyone possibly be expected to remember them when they had three or four middle names, and about a dozen nicknames?

"So, what do we know about this one?" Hermione hesitantly asked as they reached the Gryffindor common room.

"She's Malfoy's cousin," Harry filled her in on what he had learned from his brief time in her presence. "Bellatrix's daughter. From the way she was looking at me, I would say that she's here on some sort of a mission from Voldemort."

Hermione nodded as she digested this information. "And she was sorted into Slytherin, of course?"

"Of course-" Harry confirmed.

"No," Ron cut him off. "She was _placed_ into Slytherin."

"Ah," Hermione remarked, and then subsided into thought. "Do you two feel normal?"

Such was the power of her people, they actually managed to cause unwarranted personality changes in those that they wished to leave the strongest impression upon. In fact, with the last one, Hermione and Harry had had to deal with Ron as he struggled with his placement in a love triangle between himself, the girl in question, and Zabini from Slytherin. It was only when Ron had seen the girl and Zabini snogging in an empty broom closet that he had decided he deserved better, and snapped out of the trance she had cast him into.

Ron and Harry both nodded in response to Hermione's question, and then she asked another one. "So, then, who's her romantic interest?"

Ron and Harry thought about it for a moment before Harry answered for the both of them. "Not quite sure, yet. She kind of showed a little interest in me, but I don't know if that means anything-"

"I think that she's into Malfoy, actually," Ron suddenly spoke as it dawned on him, and he cast a disgusted glance at Harry and Hermione as a shudder ran down his spine. "She _does_ seem like the kind that'd be into her immediate family, that one."

"Great," Hermione offered her thoughts in a monotonous voice. "We haven't dealt with one of these in a _while_, ever since Neville's twin sister showed up. What's her name?"

Ron stood from the chair he had sat down in, and reached into his back pocket. "Hold on, I wrote it down here..."

Neither she nor Harry laughed, for this had become a very common occurrence with these people. Their names were very easily forgettable anymore, and seemed to become more and more so as time wore on.

Ron located the crinkled piece of parchment within his pocket, extracted it, and then unfolded it. "Raven Moonchild Alexandria Black."

Hermione raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Wow. Only two middle names."

"I know, I was surprised, too," Ron replied as he shoved it back into his parchment. "I thought that there'd be at least three, by the looks of her."

"I was leaning towards five," Harry offered his input as he too stood up. "Well, we might as well make our way to class, I guess. We have Snape first, with the Slytherins. That figures."

"Damn," Hermione swore under her breath as she made to follow Ron and Harry towards the Dungeons, and towards her first encounter with the new exchange student. "No wonder it's always Wednesday that these people show up."


	3. Exploding Cauldrons Of UnRequited Love

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER THREE: EXPLODING CAULDRONS OF (UN)REQUITED LOVE

-- -- -- -- --

"Avoid eye contact," Hermione muttered under her breath to Harry and Ron as they found themselves in suffocatingly close quarters with the newest exchange student. "You never know what these people have planned out. You would be best to stay as far away from her as possible-"

"Hm?" Ron and Harry both replied in a dreamy voice from behind her.

Fearing the worst, Hermione turned on her heel. A pit of doom began to form in her abdomen as she studied the sight before her. Ron and Harry had both stopped in their advance towards their usual seats in Snape's formidable classroom. They stood, staring - no, _gawking_ - over to where the Slytherins were, and Hermione hesitantly followed their gaze.

It was just as she thought. In the middle of the gathered Slytherins was _her_. Though half a dozen boys chatted at her from every direction, her attention was turned only towards the two Gryffindors gaping at her from the doorway.

With an annoyed sigh, Hermione stomped back towards them and hastily snapped her fingers in front of their stunned faces. "Come on, you two. There's no time for this today. We need to concentrate our efforts-"

"Says who, Hermione?" Ron replied in an angry tone that, without the presence of this girl (what was her name again?), he would never have used when addressing her.

Ron was lost, she decided. She instead turned towards Harry, but as she opened her mouth to speak to him, he left she and Ron behind as he moved across the room, drawn to the intrigued expression that he was receiving from the only other girl in Potions class besides herself. Where _were_ the rest of them?

"Harry!" she tried to call him back, but then decided that it was no use as Ron hurriedly followed him. She was alone in this plight, unless she could find someone else who remained unaffected. There was always someone, but it was quite the chore in separating them out from the rest.

"All right, everyone get into your seats-" Snape barked as he stepped into his classroom, but then fell unusually quiet, even for him, as he saw the new student sitting amidst the crowd of boys on the Slytherins' side of the classroom. "Oh, hello, Raven."

"Hello, Severus," she replied with a knowing wink. "I trust you have been well, since the last time that we spoke?"

Hermione could not fight the urge to roll her eyes. Of course she would know Snape. She was Bellatrix's daughter, and more than likely had strong ties to Voldemort, because of that. In fact, Hermione had a faint suspicion that her bonds to Voldemort were enough so as to warrant evidence of that connection.

It was always dangerous to directly contact her kind, but Hermione had a hunch that this was the right way to go about dealing with this one: expose her for who she was right off the bat and see where that got her. She glanced over to where the new girl sat and realized that the classroom's entire populace surrounded her, spare herself and Professor Snape, who seemed to have turned a blind eye to the goings-on before him and had forgotten that he was supposed to be teaching a lesson.

_'Great,'_ she thought. _'She's got _him_ too.'_

Hermione moved to approach the crowd of people, but found that her plan would be impossible to perform. As she watched, the girl rolled up her left sleeve and showed, for all to see, the fancy new fashion accessory that she had acquired before coming to Hogwarts: the Dark Mark.

"I can even make it disappear!" she whispered excitedly to the boys, and made it flash against her skin, earning herself several gasps of excitement.

Hermione's eyes found Harry and Ron in the crowd, and she found that they had sunken so deep in this new girl's intoxicating presence that they did not even care that she was openly affiliated with the Wizarding World's worst enemy.

"What's going on over _there_, babe?"

Hermione gasped as a cold body pressed against her from behind, and two strong arms wrapped themselves around her torso in order to hold it there. She felt a pair of lips brush the nape of her neck before she pushed the boy away from her. She left a healthy distance between them before daring to discover who had just assaulted her in such a way.

When she saw who it was, she stared at him with an intent gaze of disgust. "_Zabini_?"

He smiled as she said his name, and then tried to take a step towards her. She put her hands up before her, warning him to stop, but he merely smiled wider. "I _love_ it when you act like you don't want me, Hermione-"

"Well, it's not hard, considering that I don't," she bluntly replied.

"Oh, but we both know that's not entirely true," he teased her ever so slightly.

Hermione placed her hands on her hips, and scowled in his direction. "We've never even spoken before. When did I _ever_ become your _babe_?"

_'_You_ did this_,' she hastily thought as she peered over her shoulder towards the new girl, who still reveled in the attention that she was gaining from the entire male population of Snape's classroom, spare the one that bothered her in that moment.

"You've always been my babe, Hermione," he told her with a smirk that would make Malfoy proud. "There's always been something between us, you and I-"

"If that's so, it's news to me-" she cut herself off as a sudden realization dawned on her. "Wait, hold on a moment."

"Whatever you need, babe," Zabini winked, and then commenced to watch her as she thought.

"Have you met the new girl?" Hermione hurriedly asked him.

"Yes," he replied, but his gaze did not wander away from her.

Despite the fact that a Slytherin was hounding her for love and affection, Hermione found it in her to allow for a small smile to creep over her lips. She had just found who was going to help her make rid of Hogwarts' newest nuisance.


	4. There's More?

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER FOUR: THERE'S MORE? WELL, SPANK ME DIRTY AND CALL ME GRANDMA!

-- -- -- -- --

She was going to go insane. This wasn't right - it had never been this bad before. Every way that she turned, the students of Hogwarts were acting strange, their eyes glazed over and a forlorn smile plastered across their lips. It was not as though things had never dipped to this low of a level; she had dealt with _far_ worse, in the past. She had encountered Voldemort and Snape's bastard (not to mention _impossible_) child, for Christ's sake!

There was something different about this one. Though Hermione had been through nastier situations, the beings that caused them had been twice as powerful as this 'Raven' seemed to be. So, how was she causing so much discord within the castle? Something didn't add up.

She was alone. In times past, there had always been at least student with enough sense left in them to help her figure out exactly what was going on, and how to banish the foul demon from the school. The thing that bothered her the most, however, was that she was definitely not safe. She had begun to feel it, seeping under her skin. She was eventually going to be affected by this Fiend, and that scared her to death. If she fell, then there would be no one to take her stead in this losing battle; no one to figure out how the Fiend had gotten here, _why_ she was here, and what it was exactly that she was trying to accomplish. She needed to hurry before this could happen. With no defense, Hogwarts was completely vulnerable to the evil that had sprung upon it.

All she had on her side was Blaise Zabini, and she had to be careful about how much time she spent with him. For whatever reason, Raven had bent his thoughts on _her_, instead of her own, perfect self. That in itself was usually only enough to irritate Hermione to her very core (something along this line had happened before, and, more often than not, it seemed to be that _other_ Slytherin that she despised so much). But, the fact that she was beginning to feel as though she would soon be unexplainably returning these feelings for Blaise was enough to actually scare her. And she had never been scared before in the face of this Evil.

"What a nice girl," Ron's overjoyed voice floated through Hermione's mind, ceasing her previous thoughts. "I can't believe she agreed to go on a date with me into Hogsmeade on Monday night!"

"Well, I got her to agree to go with _me_ on _Thursday_," Harry boasted, as though Thursday was actually a superior day to Monday somehow.

Ron's face turned the same color as his hair. "That's only because you're the Chosen One-"

"Did you manage to see her dark mark?" Hermione nonchalantly asked, making her presence known to her sadly oblivious friends.

Ron and Harry stared at her as though she was crazy, and then exchanged a confused glance. "Dark mark? What are you talking about Hermione?"

"You know, the one she was showing off in Potions class earlier today?" Hermione reminded them as her stomach flipped unpleasantly in annoyance.

Harry slowly shook his head. "She wasn't showing off a dark mark-"

"Yes, she was!" Hermione shrieked. She couldn't take it anymore. "How could you possibly forget? She could make it disappear-"

"Well, _that's_ convenient," Ron coolly cut her off.

"Yes, it is!" Hermione wrung her hands, urging him to understand her thoughts. "When and _if_ anyone checks for it, she'll be able to hide it-"

"You mean like if _we_ checked for it?" Harry took a cautious step towards her. "Look, are you feeling all right, Hermes?"

"I feel _fine_! It's you that-" she stammered as her mind realized just what he had called her. "Since _when_ do you call me _that_?"

He shrugged. "I've _always_ called you that."

Hermione stared at him, her newfound rage boiling directly beneath the surface of her skin. She tried to make rid of it, though, for she suspected that it was, once again, Raven's seemingly unavoidable influence.

"Ok, I'm going to let that _slide_," she carefully spoke through grated teeth. "But, Harry - and, Ron, you too - you're going to owe me an apology when this is all over."

Ron furrowed his brows in confusion. "What _are_ you harping on about, Hermione?"

She pondered her reply, but then merely shook her head as she decided that she did not desire to further this conversation. "Never mind. Just ... leave me alone, all right?"

"Hey, cheer up," Ron gave her a hefty pat on the back. "You'll feel better next week. Raven's brother is coming to Hogwarts, just as soon as his paper's get transferred in from Durmstrang."

Harry and Ron walked away, leaving her to stare after them in shock. Her brother was coming to Hogwarts? Her _brother_?

A new pit developed in the lower regions of her torso as she considered this latest development. Hogwarts had never dealt with more than one at a time. This could only be catastrophic, if allowed to happen.

She only had a week before Hogwarts as she knew it was over. With the power of two Fiends pulsating within these walls, it was only a matter of time before she finally caved and Hogwarts' last chance was lost.

Her thoughts went immediately to the only boy that seemed willing (and capable) to help her with the task set out before her. She had sought solitude in the Gryffindor common room, since he had taken to following her everywhere she went, and she was in desperate need of a rest from his newfound infatuation.

Her break was over, though. It was time to get back to work.


	5. A Possible Ally?

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER FIVE: A POSSIBLE ALLY?

-- -- -- -- --

Hermione moved through the castle in her hasty search for Blaise. Where the hell could he have gone? Whenever she wasn't in Gryffindor quarters, he seemed to know exactly where she was, and at all times. He had even somehow obtained knowledge as to where the entrance to the Gryffindor common room was. She imagined that he had followed her on her journey to the Fat Lady at some point in the past, but she had a faint suspicion that this was probably not the truth.

It didn't have to be, so long as _she_ was here.

She slowed to a stop, and tried to place herself in Blaise's mind. If he were haunted by constant thoughts of her, as he had claimed in the joke that was Potions class, what would he be doing right now?

Her answer was provided right away. He'd be hanging around where he would be sure to find her if she showed herself in public.

Since he hadn't been waiting for her outside her house's designated area, she could only assume one other place where he would think her to be: the library.

She quickened her pace as she moved along, heading for her sanctuary on the fourth floor. She sighed, for if Blaise indeed did know that she spent the brunt of her time there, then it had been thus defiled. She would have to find a new place to call her refuge until this whole mess had been cleared up. _If_ it were cleared up, she reminded herself, while simultaneously breaking into a slow jog.

As she grew closer to the Transfiguration classroom, she heard a small giggle trickle from its open door. "Oh, _Draco_..."

Suppressing a gag, Hermione carried on, not daring to allow her eyes to wander from the path ahead of her. She knew that voice; it was _her_. So, Ron had been right. The new girl was into Malfoy and, by the sounds of it, had absolutely no problem with copulating with her cousin.

_'Whatever happened to morals?'_ Hermione wondered as she shook her head in disgust, and a shiver trailed its way down her spine. _'Morals are a _good_ thing.'_

She reached the library, and scanned the room for any sign of her admirer. This proved fruitless, and so she began to search the aisles, hoping that Blaise had tucked himself away. She passed an aisle, carried on, but then came to a sudden stop as she registered that the person she had seen within bear an uncanny resemblance to whom she searched for. Backing up a few steps, she found that her eyes had not deceived her. There he was, leaning against the shelf with his nose buried in a book. His concentration had not broken at her arrival, and did not until she had approached him.

"Watermelon," he spoke with a small smile.

Hermione stared at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Your shampoo," he clarified as he shut his book, placed it back onto the shelf, and then proceeded to close the space that Hermione had tried to leave between them. "Watermelon and cucumber."

Though she was impressed that Blaise recognized such a trivial thing, it did nothing to sidetrack her from her self-appointed mission. "Blaise, _don't_."

He had reached for her hair, and attempted to tuck a loose strand behind her ear. She placed her hand on his to stop him, but then quickly let go and backed away as she felt another unearthly wave of attraction move through her mind. She could not get close to him. She had to get what she needed from him, and then she needed to end all contact with him, even if it meant breaking his heart. Which, she thought, would not be a hard thing to do. Once the new girl (she _still_ couldn't remember her name) was gone from the castle, Blaise would remember none of it.

"Hermione, I've been wanting to speak to you so badly," his eyes softened in consideration. "Is there something wrong? With us?"

She opened her mouth to reply, to tell him that there was nothing at all between them, so there could _be_ nothing wrong. However, she needed to go along with this if she desired his assistance. "I - I'm just a little grossed out."

Blaise stood straighter. "By what?"

"Malfoy-" she spoke, gesturing over her shoulder.

"What about him?" Blaise suddenly grew angry, and a fire erupted behind his eyes. "Did he hit on you? Try to lure you into the Forbidden Forest to - to try and make you cheat on me?"

"No, nothing like that!" Hermione countered, trying to calm him down. "I saw him on my way down here. He's, er, _with his cousin_, if you catch my meaning."

Blaise's face darkened, but he then released a small laugh. "Oh, yes, I know all about them. You think what _you_ saw was bad? Try waking up in the middle of the night to them in the bed next to you."

Hermione cringed, but soon forgot her disgust as Blaise took her into his arms. "Don't worry. We'll just stay away from them. Draco'll come to his senses soon enough. He'll realize that she's seeing more people than just _him_."

She tried to reply, but his intoxicating scent had stumped her mind. A small sound escaped from her throat as she realized what was happening to her before she finally summoned enough strength to push him away. "I'm serious; don't, Blaise. _Please_."

He furrowed his brows as she moved away from him. "Are you sure you're all right?"

She forced herself to meet his eyes. "Yeah, fine. Now, listen, I need your help-"

"Well, well, well, what's this?" a familiar voice came from the next aisle over. Hermione and Blaise looked through the spaces between the tops of the books and the shelf above them for the blond Slytherin who had spoken, but he had already moved away from the position that he had spied from. He came around the end of the bookshelf, and strolled closer towards them, a knowing smirk plastered on his face. "Blaise, I expected better from you. I did not think that you held a soft spot for Mudbloods."

"Shut up, Draco," Blaise snarled in reply. "I can see whoever I want. I don't care if she's a Mud - a Muggle born. Besides, it's better to love someone with Muggle parents than to shack up with your own cousin."

Malfoy sneered, and then tried to move around Hermione to get to Blaise. "You have _some_ nerve-"

"Just _screw off_, Malfoy," Hermione pushed him away. "Why don't you go back to your little girlfriend? She's probably waiting for you."

His hands balled into fists, but he dared not to use them. "All right, you filthy little Mudblood. You can have things your way ... for _now_. But, I wonder what Potter and the Weasel King would say if they were to find out about the company you were keeping?"

Her eyes involuntarily grew wider. "You _wouldn't_."

His smirk reappeared as he regained control of the situation. "No? Well, watch me."

And with that, he turned on his heel and moved back towards the library's exit. Hermione stared after him, anger coursing through her veins, but also a simultaneous sense of relief and horror. Besides the fact that he had slept with the new student, relative or not, Hermione truly believed that she had found who could possibly be the one other person who was not entirely affected by the Evil that had spread everywhere else.


	6. If Loving You Is OK, Then OK?

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER SIX: IF LOVING YOU IS OK, THEN ... OK?

-- -- -- -- --

Hermione's eyes scanned the bookshelves as she wondered which titles could possibly aid her against Malfoy's cousin. She and Blaise had both been through a numerous number of books throughout the library, and had not yet found a single mention of anything remotely close to what they were looking for.

"Hermione..." Blaise's increasingly complaintive voice came again as he leaned up against he bookshelf beside where she stood. "Why don't we just give this a rest for a while? I know that you like books and all, but I think this is going a little too far, don't you?"

Hermione gave him a hard stare. "Keep looking. There's just _got_ to be something here-"

"_So it's true_."

The new voice that had joined their conversation caused both Hermione and Blaise to direct their attention away from each other and towards that who had joined them. Hermione's eyes grew wide, and she emitted an audible gasp as her two angry comrades advanced on them.

"It's not at all what it looks like," Hermione knew that she didn't have to explain herself to Harry and Ron, and yet she felt obliged to. "We were just researching."

"A likely story," Harry hissed through his teeth as he and Ron came to a stop before she and Blaise. "You know, Hermione, I had a feeling that this was going to happen. I have for a while, now-"

"How is that even possible?" she snapped. "Before this morning, Zabini and I have never even spoken!"

"No, but I've seen those little _looks_ you give him," Ron contradicted her. "All throughout the years, too ... we should have put a stop to this before it could go any further. Can you believe it, Harry? _Our_ Hermione, dating Slytherin scum!"

"Oh, and you're one to talk, Ronald?" That was it. All of the anger and annoyance that Hermione had suppressed in the last nine hours simultaneously came to surface. "Look at _you_! Fawning over some stupid girl, just because she _looked_ at you! And don't even _act_ like you're innocent in this, Harry! You're doing it, too! And _she's_ a Slytherin! Just what are you two playing at?"

She scowled at them as she waited for a reply. Harry and Ron merely stared back at her, stunned, but only for a moment.

"Whatever. If you want to cling to this scumbag, then you can just forget about _us_," Ron stuck his nose in the air before marching away. "And you'd better think twice before asking to copy my work in Transfiguration, tomorrow. I'm going to go find Raven. I want to hear more about her brother."

"He's going to be here on Friday, and he's going to try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team," Harry muttered through his teeth as he took a few steps back. "If you want to keep your place on there, I'd suggest you show up."

"Since when have I been on the team?" Hermione snapped at him. "And how do you even know that her brother is going to be in Gryffindor house?"

"It was foretold that he would be," Harry commenced to give her the cold shoulder, and followed Ron from the library.

Hermione stared after them. Even though she knew it was all Raven's fault that they were acting so strange, she couldn't deny feeling the slightest bit injured by their words. Not only were her feelings hurt, but a wave of fear came over her as she realized what Harry and Ron had just told her. She thought that she had the weekend before her brother was supposed to arrive. Now, though, she barely had two days. This was _not_ good...

"They can't talk to you like that," Blaise's angry voice interrupted her thoughts. "Are you all right?"

"Erm-" she wasn't sure how to answer. She wanted to tell him that she was fine, and that they ought to just continue on in their thus far fruitless search, but the words wouldn't come.

Blaise's eyes softened, and he took Hermione in his arms once again. Her body instantly seized up, and her breathing halted as he held her. This was just _too_ foreign for her.

Blaise soon sensed her discomfort, and loosened his grip ever so slightly. "What's the matter with you? You're so ... distant, today. It's Potter and Weasley, isn't it?"

To her surprise, she found herself nodding.

A sneer that Malfoy would have been proud of overtook his formerly concerned features, and he abruptly let go of her as he left in the direction of the library's exit.

"Where are you going?" she called after him.

"I'm going to set those two straight," he replied over his shoulder before disappearing from her line of vision.

Hermione heaved a sigh, and rested her forehead against the bookshelf. She pressed her lips together as she tried to gather herself and concentrate her efforts. It seemed that she was to be cursed with distractions today, though.

"Did Blaise finally dump you?"

"Screw off, Malfoy," she mumbled without bothering to look up.

She could feel his looming presence behind her, and she flinched as she felt his cold hand weigh down on her shoulder. She could not endure his touch, and hurriedly forced his grip away from her as she finally turned to face him. "I said _screw off_!"

Much to her confusion, Malfoy smirked instead of antagonizing against her, as he usually did. What was _his_ deal? Why was he even _speaking_ to her?

His smirk hurriedly disappeared, to be replaced with a look of complete and utter seriousness. Before she had a chance to react, he had pinned her against the bookshelf. She tried to cry out in pain, but found it to be impossible, for his hand had found its way across her mouth. "Now, you listen to me, Granger, and you listen good. I know what you're looking for in here, and I know that you're not going to find it."

He moved his hand to allow her to answer. "You don't know that. Just leave me alone, Malfoy. Why don't you go mess around with your cousin again, since you enjoy her company so much?"

He stared at her for a second, in which Hermione thought that this encounter between them was going to move in an even worse direction, but he then chuckled ever so lightly. "Raven is _not_ my cousin."

"_What_?" Hermione hissed. "Of course she is!"

"Then how come I've never known her before today?"

Hermione stared at him. It seemed that he was nearly on the same page as she was, but she could not be entirely sure. There were still some strange and uncharacteristic aspects about him. "I don't know ... why don't you ask her?"

"I don't much feel like talking to her," he shrugged apathetically. "She's gotten quite annoying, frankly."

"How so?"

"She keeps talking about ... us," he paused and glanced around them before continuing on. "She's carrying my child."

Hermione scoffed. "And how do you know _that_? Like, seriously, when was the first time that you slept with her? Three hours ago? How could she possibly know that she's pregnant after such a short amount of time?"

"We've met each other before. I don't know! I can't explain it," he rolled his eyes. "And that's why I'm going to help you. I want to get rid of her as much as _you_ do."

He released her from his grip, and walked off in the direction that Blaise had left in. "Now, come on, let's go gather your boy toy. I know someone who'll have the answers that you seek."

Hermione's face flushed red as she made to follow him. "He is _not_ my boy toy!"

"Whatever," Malfoy smirked, waiting for her to catch up. "Hurry up, will you? We've got some traveling to do."

"Won't anyone notice that we've left the castle?" Hermione questioned him.

"When they're so preoccupied with my dear cousin?" Malfoy asked her in retaliation. "I think not. We're safe."


	7. Dude, Not Cool

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER SEVEN: DUDE, NOT COOL

-- -- -- -- --

The corridors of Hogwarts were deserted, which did not much surprise Hermione, since lessons were in progress. The thing that caused her a feeling of unsettlement was that she hardly even cared. Besides, all of her lessons so far had turned out to be like her Potions class that morning. So, instead, here she was, tagging closely behind the Slytherin Prince himself as they searched for the boy who's heart she had unknowingly claimed.

"Where do you think they could have gone?" Hermione asked Draco's back as he hurried along ahead of her.

"We'll find out soon enough," Draco replied as he came to a sudden stop at the end of the corridor. He stiffened as he listened, and then smirked in triumph. "Ah, yes ... do you hear that?"

"_Potter_, how _dare_ you insinuate that our love is not real!"

"Well, it sure is fishy that you and her are-"

"Don't even speak to me, Weasley! You aren't worth the ground she walks upon!"

Hermione and Draco exchanged a quick glance before jogging off in the direction of Harry, Ron, and Blaise's voices. They came from behind the closed door of an unoccupied classroom, and when the two of them entered the room they found exactly what they expected to see. Harry and Ron stood together, opposed by Blaise, and all three boys had their wands extracted.

"Blaise!" Hermione blurted out.

At the sound of her voice, he immediately lowered his guard and turned to face her. "Hermione-?"

Hermione gasped as she realized the chain of events that she had initiated. As soon as Blaise's attention was away from the two boys he had previously been fighting with, Harry and Ron took their chance to overcome their rival.

"_Stupefy_!" they both yelled.

Streams of red light burst forth from the ends of their wands, and collided with Blaise's unprotected chest. The impact was enough to force Blaise off his feet and en route towards the wall behind him. Before he had even begun to know what happened, he was unconscious.

"_Blaise_!" Hermione shrieked in worry before running the length of the classroom towards him. In the back of her mind, she wondered how her oldest school friends would interpret her actions, but in the moment, this was what felt right for her to do.

She bent down next to him, and turned his exotic face towards her. The impact against the wall had broken his bottom lip, and a bruise was beginning to develop on his brow line. As tears welled up in her eyes, she vaguely realized that Draco had taken Blaise's place against Harry and Ron, though in a more active and efficient way.

She jarred when she felt an iron grip around the top of her arm. "Come on, we have to go before someone finds us."

"Draco, we can't just leave him here," she spoke in developing hysterics.

He shook his head. "We have no choice. If we're lucky, the Memory Charms that I put on Potter and Weasley will work, and they'll believe that they had actually dueled with Blaise, instead of me. They won't recollect our presence. Now, come _on_, before McGonagall or someone shows up!"

"But, Blaise-"

"-Will be safe here," Draco hurriedly told her in waning patience. "Get a hold of yourself, Granger. I thought you didn't _like_ Blaise."

"I thought so too, but-"

"It's Raven," Draco clutched her by the shoulders and shook her ever so slightly. "She's made you fall for Blaise, Granger. Get over it. We need to get rid of her before something even _worse_ happens!"

"Worse?" Hermione replied in a small voice. "What could be worse-? No. Leave me here! I need to stay with Blaise!"

She shook herself from Draco's grip and returned to Blaise's side. Draco's grey eyes narrowed as he stared at her in annoyance. Not entirely sure if he was entirely in line with what he was about to do, he grabbed her by the arm again. She would thank him for it, later on.

Hermione reeled in shock as her numbed mind realized what Draco had just done to her. Her mouth still agape in awe, she raised a trembling hand to the developing blemish on her inflamed cheek.

"You-?"

"Hit you, yes," Draco stood taller when he realized that the fanaticism that had been present in her eyes mere moments before had now disappeared. "You can thank me for it later. Remind me, Granger: _what_ are our goals?"

"To get rid of Raven," she slowly replied in a near mumble. "You didn't have to hit me, though."

"Well, talking sure wasn't getting me anywhere," Draco told her with a sneer as he moved towards the classroom door. "Now, follow me. We're going to Hogsmeade."


	8. Did I Mention That I Hate You?

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER EIGHT: DID I MENTION THAT I HATE YOU?

-- -- -- -- --

Draco took off at a sprint before Hermione had a chance to ask any more questions - not that she didn't try. As soon as she had caught up with him, panting so hard that he could barely decipher her speech, she spewed inquiry upon inquiry about their destination. For the time being, he merely ignored her. If he told her why they were going where they were going, then he would surely have to stun her, because there was no way she would concede without a fight.

When he reached the village limits, he slowed to a gradual stop. Even though Quidditch had helped him to develop a healthy cardiovascular system, he was still out of breath. He wasn't surprised in the least that he had lost Granger along the way. He only hoped that she knew where he had gone, so as to save him the prospect of backtracking and finding her.

He stared at the hill that he had just descended, and tapped his foot against the trail as his patience began to grow thin once again. Just as he had decided that he was in need of locating the unfit Mudblood, though, her bushy head appeared beyond the hill's horizon.

She stumbled down towards him, breathing heavier than she probably ever had before and clutching a stitch beneath her heart. "That - wasn't - fair - could've - waited-"

"There's no time for you to reprimand me," Draco scolded her as she bent down on her knees before him. "Can you apparate yet?"

She shook her head as she glanced up at him. "And neither can you. We're not of age, yet. Or, _I'm_ not, anyways-"

"Neither am I," he took a step forward towards her. "But I think you'll find that repercussions for such an action are hindered when _her_ type enter our world."

Before Hermione had a chance to inquire upon his meaning, he had placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her into what felt like a tight, rubber tube. A wave of panic collided with her as she struggled in vain to catch her breath, and just as soon as she felt herself sliding into permanent unconsciousness, the daylight around her reappeared, and she realized that she hadn't, in defiance of her beliefs, died.

This did not stop her from clutching thankfully at her heart, and for turning on the boy who had caused such a feeling within her. "Draco-!"

She was cut short by his hand over her mouth. "Quiet. We don't want to draw unwanted attention to ourselves."

Confused, Hermione struggled vehemently against him, but found it impossible to triumph over his superior physique. She relaxed in hopes that this was warrant her release, but she found that Draco stood as still as he had before, whenthey had listened for any sign of Harry, Ron, and Blaise within the castle.

"You're going to be quiet, now?"

She nodded.

"Fine," he let her go. He immediately regretted his decision, though.

"Where are we?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know," he dryly whispered as he craned his head through the trees.

"Yes, I _would_," she did not desist. "Seeing as how you've brought me here nearly against my will. And _why_ are we going here? Do you know someone who's going to help us? Who-?"

She clenched at her throat, and then glared at Draco's extracted wand before mouthing, "That's not fair!"

"Well, you wouldn't be quiet," he shrugged along with his rationalization for using the Silencing Charm on her. "We're going to my home."

She gaped at him. "Malfoy Manor?"

He smirked at her silence. Why hadn't he, or anyone else for that manner, think of this before? "Yes, to Malfoy Manor. We're going to see the Dark Lord."

Upon this proclamation, Hermione came to a dead stop in her tracks. He swiveled to face her, and was not at all surprised to see the expression of fear written across her features. "Why?"

"Because he always knows, Granger," Draco spoke with condescension. "The Dark Lord _always_ knows -_ hey_!"

He growled in frustration as he extracted his wand from the pocket of his cloak and pointed it between the shoulder blades of her retreating figure. "_Petrificus totalus_!"

Her limbs snapped together, and she fell to the ground without any hint of grace. Draco heavily exhaled as he approached her. "See? This was why I didn't tell you anything."

With another flick of his wand, she was floating, silent and stiff, in the air beside him. She attempted to send him the heftiest scowl that her frozen features could muster. This, however, only made him smirk.

"Anything else, Granger?"

Her unpleasant face showed no sign of changing.

"Excellent," he drawled. "Shall we continue on our way, then?"


	9. Mommy Dearest

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER NINE: MOMMY DEAREST

-- -- -- -- --

Hermione's heart hammered unpleasantly against her ribcage. She willed with all her might for the charms cast upon her to be relinquished, but it seemed that Malfoy was a better wizard than she had ever given him credit for.

She tried to see where Malfoy was taking her, but the angle at which she floated made it nearly impossible. All she could see was a stretch of darkening sky, the tops of surrounding trees, and the white-blond head that she despised more than anything else at this precise moment.

There were clues, though; as they carried on silently through the wood, the trees slowly began to thin. Malfoy's head swiveled around more and more, and Hermione could only conclude that, not only that they were getting closer, but the Manor was protected by more than just spells.

As she began to wonder when their afternoon walk would come to an end, Malfoy came to a sudden halt. Hermione strained her ears, and was mortified to hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Beside her, she heard Malfoy mutter something under his breath, and then a strange feeling of running liquid came over her.

"Who's there?" a deep voice demanded several feet to her left.

"It's me; Draco," Malfoy introduced himself to the guard that had spoken. "And I daresay that you will look incredibly stupid if you try and keep me from my own home."

There was silence.

"Draco?" another man spoke in slight disbelief. "What are you doing here, then? You should be at Hogwarts."

"I need to see the Dark Lord," Draco stated the purpose that he had returned home. "So get out of my way. I need to rush, so that no one notices my disappearance. I already had to stun a few people to get out of the castle. Don't think that I'll stop there-"

"Oh, so you're threatening me, are you?"

"Walden, don't bother," one of the men spoke. "Just let him pass - it's _obviously_ him. No one else would be stupid enough to threaten us, would they, boy?"

Draco only sneered.

The man laughed, and then clapped the suddenly stiff Draco on the shoulder. "Go on, then, boy. I'm sure your mother will be glad to see you home so soon again..."

And with that, the two men disappeared, and Draco carried on his way, the immobilized, silenced, and disillusioned Hermione still with him.

"She's been here," Draco explained when he sensed her questioning glance. "I would have never gotten through that easily. _Never_.

"They'll have sent a warning to the Manor, though," Draco continued on. "I'll have to stow you before my mother finds me."

A high roof finally came into Hermione's view, and Draco levitated her over the steps. As quietly as he could, it seemed, he crept in through the front door.

"Right," he stated resolutely as he mobilized her. "You just step into this closet over here-"

"Draco, darling, is that you?"

"_Fuck_! It's my mother!" Draco hissed at Hermione, and ushered her towards the closet he had indicated. "Hide, before she sees you!"

Hermione knew a better time to argue, and did not hesitate to follow his direction. She silently sprinted the length of his foyer, and disappeared mere nanoseconds before Narcissa Malfoy strolled into the room, her long curtain of blonde hair and her billowy, expensive robes flaring out behind her. Her eyes lit up when she saw her son standing forlornly before the door.

Hermione was positive that, had Draco not hit her with a Silencing Charm in the forest, Narcissa would have heard her giggling. After everything that she had been put through in the past hour or so, the sight of Draco being smothered in kisses by his overly-affectionate mother was a very pleasing - not to mention gratifying - sight.

"Mother, that's enough!" he snapped at her, and Hermione was sure that his eyes flickered in her direction. "You're holding me up again! Remember what father told you?"

"Well, how often do you just drop in like this?" she cooed in reply.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Get out of my way, woman."

He seemed shocked at his own words, but Narcissa merely waved his rudeness off. "You're growing up _so_ fast, you know that?"

Draco continued to watch her tentatively, as though he expected her to strike him down the second that his guard was lowered. She, however, gave him one last bone-crushing hug, one more kiss on his porcelain forehead, and was gone in the direction that she had come from.

"Not a word to _anyone_," Draco muttered mutinously through his teeth as Hermione rejoined him. "And I _mean_ it."

"Wouldn't dream of it," she mouthed, though she was sure the small smile on her face more than gave her away.


	10. WTF?

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER TEN: WTF?

-- -- -- -- --

Slightly uncomfortable with the lack of control that she had in this situation, Hermione stemmed thoughts and worries about where she was and who she was about to meet by attempting to implant what she had just witnessed into her long-term memory. When things were back to normal, she thought, she would have to let that information 'slip' to Ron and Harry.

"He'll be right in here," Draco whispered, bringing her out of her reverie. "Now, perhaps I should go in first, and alone. We don't know how he's been affected yet."

"Where should_ I_ go, then?"

"Just wait out here," Draco told her, and then added when he saw the anxiety written across every line of her face, "You'll be fine. I'll only be a moment."

She nodded, and then slowly came to a stop. She hated the feeling of vulnerability that crept up on her. She had never been this deep in enemy territory, and lacked heavily in confidence that, should she be found, she would come out of it alive.

She took to pacing back and forth across the corridor that she stood in. She could hear nothing through the double doors that Draco had disappeared through a moment prior, and wondered what was taking him so long. Each second that she was without him passed like a lifetime, and she emitted a great sigh of relief when he finally reappeared.

"Well?" she asked. Draco's face was unreadable, but she had a feeling that his expression of slight amusement may have actually meant something positive in their favor.

"Er," Draco trailed off as he searched for the right words. "He'll see us. He didn't even object to having a Mudblood in his presence."

Hermione decided to ignore his slip of the tongue, and hit him with a hefty hex later on, when she was no longer being forced to count him as an ally. Instead, she stiffly nodded, and then followed him into the room that Lord Voldemort called sanctuary.

It was with extreme effort that Hermione maintained an indifferent expression. The room itself was everything that she expected - dark, gloomy, and downright terrifying. However, the man - being - that awaited them was hardly recognizable to her. If he hadn't been the only person there, she would have politely ignored this man, and commenced to wait for the imminent arrival of the Dark Lord.

"So this is your little friend, then, is it?" Voldemort asked Draco as he approached them. Hermione had never seen such an unbecoming premise, before. She stared openly at the powdered wig that sat upon his head.

Voldemort realized what she was looking at, stopped suddenly in his tracks, and blushed as deeply red as the rouge that sat upon his cheekbones. "Don't tell me you don't like it! I took _hours_ to figure out how to cover up the fact that I'm - well, not that it's really all that important, I'm sure I could grow hair if I wanted - oh, you've got me _all_ of a tither-"

And with that, Voldemort hurriedly reached into his pocket. Hermione's hand twitched towards her own, but as she extracted her wand, Voldemort only extracted a-

"Cell phone?" Hermione recognized the Muggle device as something that her father owned.

Voldemort huffily began to pound away on the keypad, and then stowed it again when he was finished doing whatever it was that he had ventured to do.

"Now," Voldemort clapped his hands merrily together. "What can I do for you, gentle man and kind lady-? Oh, hold on."

An upbeat song emanated from Voldemort's pocket, and he fluidly took up his phone again. "Hello? Oh, Bella, _hi_! What? Well, what did _you_ say?"

Voldemort turned away with a finger in the ear opposite of which he held his phone to as he conversed. Draco and Hermione were determined not to look at each other. They were spared the prospect of stifling the laughter that clogged their minds by the arrival of a man that Hermione recognized as none other than Lucius Malfoy.

"You texted, my Lord?"

"Bella - _Bella_ - sorry to cut this short, but I'll have to call you back," Voldemort told her as he promptly hit the 'End Call' button. "Yes, I texted you, Lucius. You told me that _this_ wig would cover up the fact that I'm - I'm..."

"Bald?" Lucius supplied.

Voldemort stared at Lucius, and just as Hermione thought that the prospect of the Cruciatus Curse had crossed his mind, something she wouldn't have precedented in at least four-point-six billion years happened instead.

Voldemort's lower lip began to quiver and he let out a cry of pain before he burst into tears.

"My Lord!" Draco's father blurted out, horrified. "I'm sorry-"

"Save it, Lucius!" Voldemort loudly spoke, pressing the back of his hand dramatically against his forehead. "I thought I told you never to mention it! I _hate_ you!"

And with that, Voldemort burst past Hermione and Draco, and disappeared into the hallway. Hermione stared after him, stunned. A second later, they heard another door slam, which was followed by the sound of the now positively howling Dark Lord Voldemort.


	11. I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER ELEVEN: I FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY ...

-- -- -- -- --

"Oh, dear," Lucius quietly remarked under his breath as he slowly shook his head. "The poor thing. He's hasn't been quite the same since Raven came home..."

"Is that right," Draco dryly replied. "I hardly noticed a difference at all."

Lucius glared heftily at his only son, and then promptly shushed him. "Quiet, you! It would utterly _destroy_ the last shred of ego he's got left if he were to hear what you're saying-"

A howl of anguish interrupted his speech.

The older Malfoy sighed in annoyance before clutching his son by the ear. "Come on, we need to sort this out before he locks himself in the bathroom and tries to drown himself in the showers, or something."

"Is that likely?" Hermione spoke over Draco's loud protests.

"Well, he locked himself in the bathroom once already today, when Bella _tactlessly_ commented on his skin tone," Lucius answered Hermione's question. "He's tried to cover that up a little bit, as you probably saw, and he ordered Wormtail into the village to get a price on a tanning bed."

They came to a stop outside the Dark Lord's chambers, and listened carefully at the sobs coming from within. It seemed that Voldemort had pushed himself so far into hysteria that he could no longer draw a steady breath.

"My Lord?" Lucius softly spoke before rapping his knuckles against his door. "Why don't you come out of there, and we'll find you a better, er - cranial apparatus."

"I don't want you to see me," he howled in reply from the other side of the closed door. "I'm ugly, I'm _hideous_ ..."

"You're not hideous, my Lord," Lucius earnestly told him. "You are _very_ handsome. Isn't he, you two?"

"Oh, yes," Draco and Hermione caught his eye, and nodded fervently.

Instead of accepting their compliment, however, Voldemort merely emitted another loud, hair-raising sob. "You're lying! You're _all_ liars! The Dark Lord knows, Lucius ... he _always_ knows-"

"Vol - er, my Lord?" Hermione cut him off. She'd had enough of this. Their time was slowly running out, and the last thing that she wished to deal with in this situation was a self-conscious, depressed, love-hungry Voldemort. "May I come in?"

He paused, thinking. "No."

"Come on," Hermione pressed. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Let me in. I can help you be as handsome as you want to be. I'm a girl; I know lots of tips that you might want to hear - _shut up, Draco_!"

She hit the sniggering Draco as hard as she could on the first part of him she could reach. "What? It's hard to believe that _you_, of all people-"

"Even if I choose not to use them myself, for lack of time," she huffily spoke as a small amount of color flooded her cheeks. "I still know various methods in bringing the best out of _anyone_-"

She came to a sudden halt in her speech as the lock on Voldemort's door clicked open. A second later, the Dark Lord appeared. His red eyes had nothing to do with their scarlet coloration. They were now puffy and clouded, and he had since ceased in his crying.

"Come in, then," his voice was thick, and when he sniffed, it was evident that his nose was plugged in a more than fierce manner.

Hermione stared at him, and then looked over at Draco. He appeared to be fighting with himself; there were signs of both amusement and determination in his facial and body language. He gave her a pointed look, and then jerked his head in the direction of Voldemort's chambers. Hermione's stomach flopped, for she had lied when she said that she possessed great beauty tips. She had only said that in countenance of Draco's rudeness.

She followed Voldemort through the door, which he then snapped shut, and slipped her hand into her pocket. If anything were to go wrong in her meeting with the Dark Lord, then she would be at least minimally prepared.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess," Voldemort apologized as he sat down on the end of his bed and pulled a piece of tissue from his pocket. Hermione watched with utmost disgust as he held the tissue flatly against his face and exhaled as hard as he could. The tissue managed to catch the majority of his bogies, but he still spent a few seconds afterward mopping himself up.

"Er, my Lord," Hermione hurriedly spoke before Voldemort had the chance to inquire upon the tips she had expressed interest in passing on to him. "Listen, I have a proposition for you."

Voldemort stared quite blankly at her. His expression of extreme distress caused her a pang of sympathy. "Yes?"

"Yes," Hermione confirmed. "I will give you every beauty tip that I know - which, I assure you, is many - if you help me do something in return."

"I'll do anything," Voldemort hurriedly agreed. "I can't even look at myself anymore..."

He gestured towards the wall opposite, where, Hermione saw, he had draped a sheet over a mirror.

"I'm so hideous," Voldemort continued, his eyes beginning to swim in new tears. "And I know that all my Death Eaters think so. None of them ever said anything, though. I wonder why?"

"I have no clue," Hermione carefully shrugged. "They must fear you."

"But _why_?" Voldemort suddenly shrieked, banging his fist against a bedpost. "I'm a nice guy! _Really_! When has anyone ever truly stopped to figure that out, though? My Death Eaters, they all expect me to be evil ... Dumbledore and Harry Potter are poisoned against me because of this whole I-killed-James-and-Lily-Potter-in-a-car-accident business-"

"Wait, what?" Hermione interrupted him. "I thought you killed them with the Curse!"

"I was drunk, and I swerved into oncoming traffic!" Voldemort continued to scream, and a stream of tears found their way down his cheek. "Don't you think I feel guilty about it?"

"Yes, I'm sure you do," Hermione's mind raced with this oddity. "But, listen, there's something that we need to do. It - it'll redeem you!"

Voldemort stared at her, as winded as though he had just run a foot-race. "It will?"

"Yes!" Hermione nodded fervently.

He bowed his head in thought, and then, with a stiff nod, he rose to his feet. "Yes. Then we shall begin. Let us return to my headquarters, and I will hear what you have to say."


	12. And From The Depths There Arose A Plot

MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU DO HOGWARTS  
CHAPTER TWELVE: AND FROM THE DEPTHS THERE AROSE A PLOT

-- -- -- -- --

Hermione followed Voldemort as he moved towards his bedroom's exit. He brushed past the Malfoys without so much as a word, and they both turned towards Hermione for her impending explanation. She, however, shook her head and merely gestured for them to follow in the Dark Lord's wake, as she was.

"She will never again make me feel as though I'm inferior to her dazzling good looks and charm," Voldemort declared as he took to pacing angrily in the drawing room. "Yes; I will participate in her downfall. This will require very careful planning, indeed. The last time that I encountered a Mary Sue was too traumatizing for words-"

"Excuse me, but a _what_?" Hermione asked. She decided to ignore Voldemort's mention of the fact that he had once given birth to Snape's bastard son.

"A Mary Sue," Voldemort repeated. An intense shudder carried through the room, even though Hermione, Draco, and Lucius had never so much as heard the literary term before. "A form of Muggle magic, and the entire reason why I seek to dominate those of lesser blood status."

Hermione stared at him. She could not tell if he was being serious, or if he still remained under Raven's influence. She had a very strong feeling that it was the latter.

"Do you honestly think that a wizard would ever be tempted to create such a formidable character?" Voldemort asked her as he tore the powdered wig from his head. "No, they wouldn't. It is the type of impulse that Muggles alone are restrained to. They cannot help it; it seems to be in their genetic make-up. I thought, once, that the Mary Sues - and Gary Stus, when in reference of the male variety - were a race unto their own. I was very greatly mistaken, however..."

Though confused, Hermione waited for him to carry on. Draco stood, just as still, next to her.

"The Muggles have _created_ these people, and injected them into our world," Voldemort spoke with an unrestrained hiss. "I am yet able to destroy them at their source, but I _did_ manage to discover a way of protection, with Snape's help."

Voldemort broke away from the trail he had blazoned on the floor, moved towards a dresser on the far side of the room, and pulled a small bottle from within. "_This_, I am pleased to say, is a potion, thus far unnamed, that builds an immunity to the intense magical waves that commonly accompany the Mary Sue upon entering our humble world. Snape brought it to me barely hours ago, and it was an unfortunate coincidence that this Raven Moonchild Alexandria Black chose that very moment to appear before me with the tainted Bella not far behind her."

He shuddered. Hermione wondered briefly how Bellatrix had been affected. By Voldemort's temperament in it's regard, she had a feeling that it was not a pleasant change in the least.

"There is not much, here," Voldemort spoke in a quiet, unsettled voice. "It is but a sample. The rest might still be in Snape's dungeons, but I am unsure how badly Raven has affected him. Do either of you know?"

For the first time since Voldemort had begun speaking, Hermione remembered that she was actually part of a conversation, instead of listening to a monologue. "We saw him this morning, in Potion's class. It was pretty bad, I think."

"Yeah," Draco agreed as he took to counting off on his fingers. "He allowed for there to be no lesson while all the boys swooned over her-"

"_You_ included," Hermione mumbled under her breath.

"-And hold a forty-five minute long conversation, wherein she showed off her dark mark and made arrangements to date-"

"Copulate," Hermione corrected him, but he did not hear her.

"-Every boy in the class," Draco finished.

Voldemort hummed thoughtfully as he considered everything that Draco had just told him. "He will be too far gone, by now. He may have gotten rid of the Potion, but only if Raven knew about it, or if Snape felt complied to aid her in her destruction of everything we have had built for us in this particular universe."

He was silent for a moment as he thought. He stroked his chin thoughtfully, and then slowly nodded as a plan evidently came to mind. "Right. There is only one thing for us to do, that I can think of. It will take a combined effort, and we will all need to take some of Snape's Potion. We will have two hours, tops, to figure out our plan before it wears off, and I fear what will happen once Lord Merlin Trevelyan Terrence Douglas Black arrives from Bulgaria.

"So, this is what we're going to do," he carried on, speaking faster now. "You each will take a mouthful, and return to Hogwarts. Head to the dungeons, and get that Potion from Snape by _any mean's necessary_. Do not forget, once we vanquish Raven and Lord Merlin, everything will return as it was before they even arrived. So, if it happens to be that you need to kill Snape, do not fear the consequences."

"And what will _you_ do?" Draco asked as the Dark Lord passed the unstopped bottle to Hermione.

"Before she arrived - drink up, girl, we don't have that much time - I was nearly completed my self-appointed mission in discovering how we would destroy these people at their source," Voldemort spoke as he gestured to Hermione to take her dose of the Potion. "When I take this, I will return to my normal self, Evil Genius Extraordinaire, and finish what I had been previously thinking. Then, you will return to me with the Potion, if Snape has not yet seen to its destruction under Raven's influence, and we will execute the next part of my plan."

"What do we need the rest of the Potion for, though?" Hermione inquired as she felt the Potion beginning to kick in. She was under the impression that they needed only to destroy whatever or whoever it was that was causing such turbulance in their universe.

Voldemort's expression darkened. He watched as Draco took his share from the minute bottle, and then graciously accepted it from him. "We are going to make sure that another Mary Sue _never_ enters our midst again. We're also going to see to it that, if it _does_ happen again, that we will all be able to keep our minds long enough to vanquish who has disturbed the peace. For that, we will need every shred of help we can possibly scrape from this bottomless cauldron."


End file.
